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Football

South Park

Chef: Now children, we've got to handle the ball better.
You got to hold your football like you hold your lover.

Gently...yet firmly.
You gonna be both nurturing and clinging at the same time.
Oh yeh, just like you're givin' sweet love to the football.
Nnnaughty with the football. Mmmm.

Kyle: Uh, Chef?
Chef: Spank it, ever so gently.
Kyle: Chef?
Chef: Spank it.
Kyle: Chef!
Chef: Oh, uhhh, sorry children.