Every Shade of Grey
The Proxy
The silence has a texture now
It tastes like iron in my mouth
I don't measure time in days
I measure it in waves
Nothing broke, it just wore down
Like a machine making a hollow sound
No tragedy, no sudden crash
Just the slow accumulation of the ash
They talk of healing like a straight line
Like there's a finish to the decline
But I'm not moving, I'm not stalled
I'm just existing behind the wall
Every shade of grey–
It's not a color, it's a weight
It's the heavy air I breathe
The only thing that never leaves
Not dark enough to bury me
Not bright enough to set me free
Just this
Every shade of grey–
I see the world through dirty glass
Watching the signal fade and pass
Joy is just a foreign frequency
Something that can't connect to me
I don't want your pity or your prayer
I just want the noise to disappear
Let the rust consume the frame
Until nothing looks the same
There is no closure to be found
Just the void of the ground
I'm not waiting for the spark
I'm getting used to the dark
Every shade of grey–
It's not a color, it's a weight
It's the heavy air I breathe
The only thing that never leaves
Not dark enough to bury me
Not bright enough to set me free
Just this
Every shade of grey–
It stays grey